For the Love of Butts
by SpriteCoke
Summary: Beavis and Butt-Head try to score, yet again. Shall they succeed, shall they fail? Beavis/Butt-Head slash.


**Author's Comments**: _I'm not sure what I think about this story. I see plenty of mistakes, but also plenty of funny moments. I'd give it a 2.5 out of 5. What do you guys think? Any advice, any comments?_

_Enjoy the story, either way (if anything, it'll be entertaining)._

* * *

One day, Beavis and Butt-Head were sitting on their red and ripped sofa, enjoying some tv.

'Smells like nachos,' Beavis thought, smiling as he stared into space. He then turned his attention back to the tv, and was rewarded with the sight of a hot and half-naked girl dancing.

"Woah!" Beavis yelped, eyes widening.

Butt-Head's eyes widened, as well. "Huh huh huh huh," he laughed. They kept their eyes on the tv until there was a commercial, then they were still; thinking about the dancer as they stared at the tv screen, senselessly.

"We need to score," Butt-Head stated, turning his head to look at Beavis.

"Yeah, mhmm heh, I know, really," Beavis replied, frowning.

They looked back at the tv, and watched in silence for the next three hours. Butt-Head squinted.

"Maybe we should... umm... get bigger thingies or something. Like that guy on the commercial," he said.

"Uh, hmmheh, what guy?" Beavis said, looking at the tv.

"Not that commercial, dumbass! The one with the whistling guy!" Butt-Head yelled. Beavis looked at the floor, then he smiled.

"Oh, you-you mean the one with that whistley music that's all like... doo doo doo doo doo doo doo... and the chick who's all, like... smiling when he comes to the door, 'cause she like... wants to do it? 'Cause his wiener's bigger, hmm heh..." Beavis said.

"Huh huh huh huh. Yeah," Butt-Head replied.

"Great idea, Butt-Head! So, uh, how are we gonna get bigger thingies?" Beavis asked.

"Uuuh... huh huh huh. You, like... have to take pills or something," Butt-Head answered. Beavis frowned and his brows lowered even more.

"I take pills all the time, hmm heh, and my wiener doesn't get any bigger," he said, upset.

"Huh huh huh. You have to take, like... special pills. It's called... menthol or something," Butt-Head said.

"Heh heh, oh yeah. Let's go get some," Beavis said, smiling. He clenched his fists beside him, then stood up from the couch. Butt-Head simply stood up, then turned towards the door. They walked past the living room and out of the house, slamming the door on the way out (causing bits of the ceiling to crash to the floor).

Inside the store, Beavis and Butt-Head were standing before a medicine rack, searching for 'something that began with M.'

"I found it, I found it! I found the pills!" Beavis exclaimed, ripping a box off the rack, breaking it slightly. He gave it to Butt-Head, who held it close to his face. He squinted and used his finger to keep track of the words.

"Mmmeeeh... miiih... doll. Mih-doll. Yes!" Butt-Head excitedly said, holding the box of midol. He then turned to the right, staring into space as he stood still.

"Beavis. We have the answer," he said.

"Hmm, heh heh! We're gonna score!" Beavis yelled.

After paying for the pills, they left the store building. Immediately, they ripped open the packages and devoured more than half of the pills. Beavis shook his head back and forth and shook his fists. "Brrrraaaaaah!"

"Huh huh huh huh," Butt-Head laughed, watching.

Back at home, they sat on the sofa. They turned the tv on, and after a short while of watching, Beavis groaned.

"Mmmeh... I don't feel so good," Beavis said. His stomach made gurgling sounds and his head wobbled slightly. He felt dizzy.

Butt-Head was frowning. "The pills are putting all our good feelings in our wieners. So, like... all we have left are bad ones. Huh huh huh," he explained.

"You mean I'll feel like this for the rest of my life? NO!" Beavis shouted.

"It'll be worth it when you have chicks all over you!" Butt-Head said, irritated.

"Hmm heh, oh yeah. We're gonna score..." Beavis said, quietly. "Wait a minute, Butt-Head. How are we supposed to score if we're just sitting here?"

"Uuuh... Huh huh huh. Oh yeah," Butt-Head said. That said, they left the house. They made their way to the sidewalk, then walked down to the street, where there were plenty of women walking around. Butt-Head turned to Beavis, who was smiling.

"This is how a dude with a big wiener does it. You should take some advice. Huh huh huh huh," Butt-Head said before walking over to a random woman. She had a red dress on, and her breasts were quite visible.

"Hey baby. Uh... huh huh huh. Wanna see my schlong?" he asked. The blond woman looked at him. "Ugh..." she murmered before walking away. Beavis walked up to Butt-Head.

"Uh, hmmehh... She's walking away," he said.

"Some chicks can't handle the big stuff," Butt-Head said.

This time, Beavis went up to a random lady. She had on a long, tan over-coat and wore sun-glasses.

"Hey, how's it goin'?" asked Beavis, raising a hand. She immediately walked away.

Twenty minutes later, they were still trying to get with someone.

"Wanna spank my monkey?" Butt-Head asked a black-haired woman. She slapped him hard in the face. "Uh!" Butt-Head yelped. He then rubbed his face.

"Um, heeeh heh, it's not working. Why isn't it working? It's supposed to be working! Why's everyone going away? No!" Beavis exclaimed.

"Shut up, dumbass! You keep scaring them off!" Butt-Head yelled, slapping Beavis in the face.

"Aaah!" he yelped. Butt-Head looked around. It was getting dark, and people were disappearing. There were only a few men. Butt-Head frowned.

"You ruined it, asswipe. It's no use trying any more. They probably already told the whole city that you're a wussy," Butt-Head said.

"Shut up! I'm not a wussy! Bung hole!" Beavis shouted.

"Fart-knocker!" Butt-Head said as he walked past Beavis. Beavis followed him, growling every now and then.

"Bung hole!" he repeated.

As they were walking home, Beavis turned to Butt-Head.

"Maybe if we, like... take more pills then wait some more our wieners will get even bigger, and then, uh... all the chicks will HAVE to do us," he said. Butt-Head stopped walking.

"Huh huh huh. Oh yeah. Good idea, Beavis," Butt-Head said.

"Hmmheh, thank you, thank you very much, heh heh heh heh heh," Beavis said.

They made it home and had the rest of the pills. They watched tv as they waited for the affects to kick in. Twenty minutes later, Butt-Head lifted his shorts and looked at his wiener. Beavis watched, smiling.

"Menthal sucks!" Butt-Head yelled, irritated. Beavis lost his smile. He then looked down his pants, too.

"Aaah!" he screamed. "After all that waiting! We're never gonna score!" Beavis said, getting off the couch. He stomped on a bag of chips. "WE'RE NEVER GONNA SCORE! Brrraaaaahhh!" he exclaimed, shaking all over.

"Huh huh huh. Settle down, Beavis," Butt-Head said, even though he was amused.

"No!" Beavis yelled, running over to the tv. "I needa score! I need it! I need to! I'm sick of waiting!" He yelped, briefly squeezing his package through his shorts.

"You'll never get a chick if you act like a butt-wipe!" Butt-Head said, pointing.

Beavis turned around, glared at Butt-Head, then looked around the room like a wild animal.

"I don't need a chick! I don't need a chick! I'll do it with... the lamp! I don't need a chick, yeah, I'll do it with this lamp!" Beavis yelled. He grabbed the lamp and tried rubbing himself on it. "Eh! Eeeh!" he groaned, irritated with how difficult it was.

"Huh huh huh huh huh. Uuh... huh huh huh," Butt-Head laughed.

"This sucks!" Beavis said, throwing the lamp across the room. He then looked around the room again, and at the tv. There was a music video with a girl who wore a tight, black suit.

Beavis ran over to the tv. He rubbed the screen where the girl was, punched it, then pressed all the buttons. Butt-Head continued to laugh.

"Huh huh huh. You touched her boobs," Butt-Head said.

Unsatisfied, Beavis gave up on the tv. He pressed his foot against the screen then kicked it onto the floor.

"Aaah, this sucks!" he again shouted.

"Don't break it, dumbass!" Butt-Head exclaimed, eyes widening. Beavis looked at the couch that Butt-Head sat upon, and noticed that there were a lot of places he could stick his wiener. He ran over to the couch, looking desperate, then he lifted a pillow. He pulled his pants and underwear down, then put his wiener on the couch and put the pillow ontop of it.

"Hmm heh..." Beavis laughed, smiling.

"Uuuh!" Butt-Head yelled in shock, eyes widening. He kicked Beavis in the face, causing him to fall over and slam to the floor.

"Ow! Hmm, heh..." Beavis chuckled, then he slowly got off the floor. He went back over to the couch and tried to continue where he left off. Butt-Head tried pushing him away with his foot on Beavis' forehead. Beavis fought his hardest, shutting his eyes tight. When he opened them, he saw Butt-Head's underwear through the short legs of his shorts. He may have even seen a butt cheek. Beavis chuckled.

"You gotta do it with something that has holes, dil weed," Butt-Head explained. Beavis blinked, then smiled.

"Heh heh hmm heh," Beavis laughed, still looking at Butt-Head's butt. "You've got holes, right? Hmm mm heh heh."

"Huh huh huh huh. Yeah," Butt-Head said, amused.

"Maybe we could, you know... like, do it," Beavis said. Butt-Head grimaced.

"Uh... No way! You're not sticking your schlong up my butt!" Butt-Head said, continuing to push against his forehead. Beavis fought back.

"Come on, Butt-Head! You'll like it!" Beavis yelled, glaring at Butt-Head as he fought against his kicking feet. Butt-Head suddenly paused, then began to laugh.

"Huh huh huh. How do you know _that_, Beavis?" Butt-Head asked, preparing to call Beavis a butt-knocker.

"Uuuh... umm... I don't know," Beavis said, briefly sniffing his finger.

"Huh huh huh huh huh."

"Hmm heh heh heh."

All of of sudden, Butt-Head again kicked Beavis hard in the face, and he fell over onto the floor. He tried getting back up, but Butt-Head jumped off the couch and began to kick him.

"Aah!" Beavis yelled. Butt-Head laughed.

"So... hmm heh, uh... are we gonna do it?" Beavis asked as Butt-Head continued to kick him in the ribs. "Gaack!"

"Uh... I don't want your wiener near me!" Butt-Head shouted.

"Hmm, heh... uuuh... what about my butt?" Beavis asked, covering the back of his head with his arms and hands as Butt-Head kicked him in the skull. Butt-Head paused, breathless. He wiped the back of his hand against his forehead and bent over to catch his breath.

"No way, butt-knocker! I only like chick's butts! Fart-knocker!" Butt-Head said, defensively.

"But, uh, like, think about it! Everyone's butt looks the same. I like, look in the mirror... and I, heh, pretend that my butt is a chick's. And it, like, gives me a stiffy. 'Cause it looks like a chick's butt. Hmm hmm heheh!" Beavis said.

Butt-Head paused. "Uuuh... really?" he said, curiously. He pushed Beavis over onto his stomach with his foot.

"Yeah! Yeah! See?" Beavis said, excitedly. Butt-Head observed and then he smiled.

"Huh huh huh huh! You have a chick's butt. This is cool," Butt-Head said, looking at Beavis' bare butt.

"Hmm heh heh heh hmm. Yeah. You can squeeze it if you want to, heh heh," Beavis said. Butt-Head reached his hand out and squeezed Beavis' butt cheek.

"WOAH!" Beavis yelped, eyes widening. "Hmm heh heh heh heh!" he chuckled, shaking.

"Uuuh... huh huh huh huh huh," Butt-Head laughed.

"Yes! Yes! Boi-oi-oi-oi-oing! Hmm hmm heh! We're gonna score!" Beavis yelped, shaking his fists.

Butt-Head took his hand off Beavis' butt. "Uuuh... Beavis? Don't you know, like, that it's only scoring if you do it with a chick?"

"Uh, really?" Beavis said, disappointed.

"Yeah. Huh huh huh huh huh... dumbass..." Butt-Head replied.

Both kept their shirts, shoes, and socks on. Beavis was bent over the arm of the couch and Butt-Head was behind him, eyes wide as he thrust. "Uh huh huh huh!" he moaned.

"Yaah! This hurts! Aah! Hmm heh heh heh! Oh yeah.. hmm heh heh... Aaah! My butt hole!" Beavis went on, shaking and sweating.

"Huh huh huh!" Butt-Head continued to moan.

They collapsed the very second they finished. After regaining their energy, both got up and sat on the couch.

"Ouch..." Beavis said, his voice hoarse and quiet due to his yelling. "My butt hurts..." he said.

"Huh huh huh. You can't handle my big stuff," Butt-Head said, proud.

"Hmm heh, no, no I can't..." Beavis replied, smiling. "Nachos..." he quietly said, holding his stomach. He yawned, keeping still in his seat.

For a while they sat silently, thinking about all they did. The tv was still on the floor and both were too tired (and lazy) to put it back.

"Uh... Hey, Beavis?" Butt-Head said.

"Um... uh... What...?" Beavis said, his voice scratchy. He itched the top of his head.

"Huh huh huh. It's time for you to spank my monkey. And hurry up about it, I don't have all day! Huh huh huh huh," Butt-Head said, turning his head to glare at Beavis.

"Hmm heh heh heh... heheh heeh... okay..." Beavis said, shakily reaching his hand over to Butt-Head's package.

"Huh huh huh huh huh," Butt-Head laughed. "And then make me some dinner! Huh huh huh."

* * *

_The end._


End file.
